Why Deal With Workplace Conflict?    Tips for Managing Workplace Conflict
Direct Discussion - How to Approach a Co-worker    Why We Avoid Dealing With Conflict
Are All Conflicts the Result of Personality Clashes or Poor Behaviour    Conflict Styles
Communicating in Conflict    Managing Anger - Yours and Others    Handling Criticism
Being Hard on the Problem - Not the Person    The Role of Assumptions, Perceptions and Expectations in Conflict

Let's Talk (pdf)

Why We Avoid Dealing with Conflict

People often have many fears around engaging in direct dialogue with others about conflict. We all have our own history of experience with conflict that was first formed in our family and expanded at school and in the workplace. For some of us conflict may:

• have largely involved displays of anger, with yelling and insults – an experience you want to avoid,
• appear to be an inevitable part of the human condition; that conflict is never productively resolved, or
• involve pursuing what we want as vigorously as possible, as that is the only way to get what you need.

The following fears or responses to conflict are common:

• What if talking about it makes it worse, rather than better?
• What if he doesn’t listen to me?
• What if he/she yells at me?
• Why stir up trouble?  It will probably resolve itself on its own.

Negotiating openly with others around what we want and need is not modeled or encouraged in our society.

It is not surprising that direct discussion with the other party is often not considered until other options have proved unsuccessful or the conflict becomes intolerable.   So while the avoidance of direct discussion is understandable, the effective management of conflict in the workplace requires us to overcome our discomfort and learn to discuss differences directly.

Malaspina University College http://www.mala.ca/conflict/avoid.asp